In 2010, I met a guy in Hamburg, let´s call him Tom. He told me about how it had always been his dream to move to a tropical island one day and live a humble life. Tom said, however, that the more time went by, the less likely he would ever make his dream come true. Why? Stability. He was in his thirties and he finally had a nice home, great job, stable income and longtime friends. Why risk a happy life that had taken so long to construct? He concluded my attempts of convincing him to leave anyway with the words: “I should have left in my twenties.”
By chance we were doing the right thing (moving in our twenties) but how could Tom have known that? If nobody warns you, it´s easy to get caught up between getting your degree, starting a 9 to 5 job, and paying off your student loans. So here I am to tell you: If living abroad is on your list, do it in your twenties!!
You´re Young, Wild and Free
It´s a fact that getting to what is called adulthood is happening later than ever. Two milestones that typically used to take place in people´s twenties, now take place in their thirties: marrying and having children. This gives you about a decade more to figure out how life works: Who you want to be, whom you want to spend the rest of your life with and what you want to contribute to this world.
A decade of identity exploration and self-focus
when your responsibilities and obligations are mostly to yourself
and before having made any lifelong commitment
is an excellent decade to move abroad for a couple of years.
One Day it Will be Too Late
When we announced our move to Guadalajara, nobody said “why now?”. Everybody totally understood that there wasn´t a better moment. No kids, no house or other big responsibilities. Tom made me look at it from a different perspective: Even without kids or a house, having built up a secure, stable life by your thirties can be as tricky to risk as a life with those things.
It´s interesting how on the one side, there is no hurry, because you have more time than ever, while on the other side, time is precious, because if you don´t live now, you may be too late.
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
Pink Floyd – Time
A Life Defining Experience for 20-Somethings
I can´t deny that life abroad has been very inspirational to me. It started off quite uprooting, but I managed to turn the tide right on time. It has greatly contributed to exactly those two activities of identity exploration and self-focus – an outcome most travelers and expatriates hope for.
I´m careful with stating my personal outcome as a general statement. When you leave with the idea that it’s supposed to be life defining and it´s not, you would probably return very disappointed. Nevertheless, there are certain factors that play a role in any move across the border providing similar circumstances for possible similar outcomes for others as well.
1. Conditioned Minds in New Surroundings
A significant part of our thoughts, behaviors and feelings that we perceive as completely normal are acquired during our life time. They´re conditioned through our upbringing, education, working experience, social surroundings and cultural background. With a conditioned mind it´s difficult to observe yourself and your options in all openness, that what 20-somethings are supposed to do.
When you place a conditioned mind in new surroundings where people think and behave differently, it gets uncomfortable. The kind of discomfort you won´t experience during travel. To return to a safe condition, the mind has to learn, adapt and grow. Add the distance to fixed patterns and expectations of your home country and rethinking set-boundaries and discovering new opportunities are a logical result.
This is how profound confrontation with a foreign culture restores the conditioned mind. It makes you think wider and view broader.
2. Cultural Diversity Among Friends
At home our social environment is often limited to groups with more or less the same kind of people: Family members holding similar beliefs, fellow students with the same knowledge and level of education, friends with comparable interests and hobbies, etc. To live around like-minded people is comfortable, but staying “stuck” around people with the same sort of thoughts and interests, could significantly limit your thinking and therefore reduce your options.
Not without reason it is said that people out of our regular circle of friends often provide the newest input. Abroad everyone is out of your regular circle of friends and acquaintances. You can learn about their ways of life, their mentality and their choices in the past and for the present and future. If there´s one thing that I have learned abroad, it´s that all around the world people are ready to receive you; to enhance your life and let you enhance theirs. You can learn something useful from anyone.
Interaction with people from other cultures is great to exchange ideas and shape a life vision. Eventually it´s you in combination with them that makes your life abroad extraordinary.
3. Finding School After School
After finishing school, we have no teachers anymore, no tutor or parent telling us what to learn, read, write or study. What may happen? We stop reading, we stop really digging into new topics, we don´t train our brain like we did during college, we lose our analytical skills. 20-somethings need to learn how to educate themselves.
Surviving in a foreign culture for a significant period of time isn´t comparable to any form of formal education but I feel that, that might be exactly the right thing for many 20-somethings. Acquiring a new set of life skills before really starting off your career. Abroad education just happens: If it´s not for more self-confidence in new surroundings or intercultural communications skills, do it for a greater feeling of independence and personal growth.
Change the Course of Your Life
I´ve always had the most valuable time of my life while being abroad, either by traveling or living. The latter has made the biggest difference so far. I discovered things about myself I might have never discovered or way too late. Moving abroad is the best decision I´ve ever made and you deserve a similar experience.
I therefore encourage every 20-something to find a place to encounter this kind of inspiration. Leave to a country that fascinates you, by its people, business opportunities, or laid back lifestyle. Make a plan and safe enough money to survive the first couple of months. Find out how to deal with your student loan because there are more important things waiting for you.
Not Convinced Yet?
Watch this inspirational video. “Why 30 is not the new 20.” Doctor Meg Jay explains how the way you spend your twenties will define you:
